![]() And there were no scenes for Jethro, you just had to assume he was in the mansion somewhere, in solitude. And Peppermint Jethro got all these funny lines to say and even a fawning sidekick. Oh, everyone loves Peppermint Jethro! He got a lot more screen time than Jethro and got a whole back story about living across town and being an underachiever in school but he was very loyal to Jed Clampett and had an endearing nickname for him. Imagine this: imagine if The Beverly Hillbillies, a very popular and successful television show, already had Jethro and then introduced a character called Peppermint Jethro. Yet I’m not the only one who is Patty, am I? A few years ago, you brought in Peppermint Patty and I now realize she’s not a cameo. Sometimes she was pensive and even friendly, sometimes she was cruel, and while that seems like bad writing, who am I to say? Apparently, I’m just Patty. Lucy, who is smaller and weaker than me, became his antagonist. Charlie Brown, the blockhead, became the star. ![]() Schulz I’m cruel, and there’s a difference. And now? I barely appear at all, my potent rage continually squandered. I spent more and more of my time raging in the void. ![]() In repose, I seethed, first because I was not able to participate in meaning and also because it suited the character that you as my Lord had endowed. A kid who played Beethoven on a toy piano. New people were brought it and were called to appear more often. But over the next few years, I began to fade. My life had purpose, and that purpose was Hell. You showed the suffering that was the inescapable fate of being alive in the world, especially among blockheads. Soon, you gave me a helpmate in Violet, and together we rained scorn and pain on the others, especially Charlie Brown. Plus, a dog who had no complex thoughts because dogs don’t have complex thoughts. For quite a while, there were three characters in Peanuts: vengeful Patty, non-descript Shermy, and featureless Charlie Brown. Next day, I steal Shermy’s umbrella because I want it and the hell with him and his feelings. It was funny because it showed my ability to effortlessly cause misery and suffering. In the October 3rd strip, I water flowers in a windowsill and get Snoopy (in his debut) wet. Schulz, you had truly made your first creation: a girl full of rage and contradictions. “That’s what little girls are made of,” I conclude.Īs my God, Mr. In the very next day’s strip, I walked down the road, saying, “Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.” Then I see Charlie Brown, and I punch him in the fucking eye. ![]() I had no lines that day, but any reader knew that I was listening. I sat next to Shermy (who says hello, by the way) (actually he doesn’t, he doesn’t think you know who he is) as good ol’ Charlie Brown came walking by. You’ll recall that I was there at the beginning. I wish I could be there, having relationships, demonstrating nuance, or ideally punching everyone in the face. Do you know what it’s like to wander through life, having no significant conversations and participating in no significant events? Existing while not truly living? I’ve been doing it for years, breathing and walking around aimlessly while my peers engage in witty three-panel exchanges that reveal a depth of humanity and character. ![]()
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